#5: What is one thing we could do right now to make this (day, project, event) even better?Īs parents, we find question 1 yields significantly more information than the grunts our children offered in response to, “How are you?” The way we’ve framed it here, it’s most useful for an end-of-day greeting. #4: Tell me one thing you’ve learned recently that inspired you. #3: What new ideas are giving you energy lately? #2: What work is most exciting you this week? And finally, the five questions can’t be answered with a one-word response (Yes, No, Busy, Fine), which invites engagement. All five are initial questions, appropriate for a relatively fast greeting or for sparking a short conversation.
All five are information-seeking: listen closely, and you will learn something about that person’s life, character, and ideas. All five are positive – focused either on highlighting the best of the past or inviting the responder to identify a positive future. We offer five alternative questions below. Better yet, greet them in a way that shows genuine care AND leads to new information that can inspire positive action. If you’re greeting someone you truly care about, greet them in a way that shows you are genuinely asking about their life.
Why bother asking a question that is almost guaranteed to generate no new information? That’s why this question, “How are you?,” is in need of a makeover. We usually ask it as a greeting rather than with the intent of actually acquiring information about the other person. The only reason most of us ask this question is because it would appear impolite not to ask.
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